Staying happy in long term relationships

[Seksme]

For most of us it sounds satisfying to have a life-long partner to share our journey with, but you also don’t want to end up like those miserable married couples who endlessly quibble. To avoid this plight, you’ll want to know all the life-changing tips to ensure a happy, long-term partnership.

Tell us how you keep love alive in your relationship!

[MaZ]

My husband and I are married for longer than what I would want to admit here. We are both quite successful at what we do and we always make sure to celebrate each other’s successes by going out for a dinner and some drinks. We always discuss our future plans and where we’re going with our lives, and of course make a lot of plans together too. It’s very important to celebrate not only when we achieve our shared goals but also the goals we set for ourselves or in our professions, so we know that we still look up to one another, appreciate each other and happy for the other person’s successes. It just feels good to be able to share your achievements with your spouse and truly be happy for them.

[Miss Blue]

If you have ever experienced how it feels that someone’s (your mum, dad, your teachers, your spouse, your friend etc.) tried to change you, you know that it usually just brings you down and makes you feel not good enough. If you’re trying to change your partner, they’re going to experience the same, and they’ll not take it kindly, just as you didn’t. They may start to feel bad about themselves and resentful towards you who’s trying to change them which can make your relationship slowly break down.
Also, we all know that people generally don’t like change, and to change, so you’re better off changing yourself, or at least your way of looking at others, so you wouldn’t feel the need to change them. There’s always a solution and there’s always another point of view! Is he/she driving you crazy with squeezing the toothpaste tube the wrong way? Well, think again. Is your way the good way and theirs the wrong, or is it the other way around? Is there a good or bad way at all? Do you think this is a major issue and they need to change? Just buy another tube – problem solved!!

[Ricke]

My girlfriend and I are very adventurous people and that’s also how we met: on a hiking trip. We enjoy hiking a lot, so we make sure we go on a trip every couple of months to switch off, discover new trails and have lots of fun at the same time. We generally spend a lot of time outdoors connecting with nature which we think is so important in keeping healthy and happy.

[carolz]

My husband and I were best friends way before we decided to get married and start a family. We both believe that this is key for being able to stay together in the long run. When you know each other on a deep level, know who the other one is, you’re more likely to be able to stay together as you know what to expect from them, how you behave in different situations and it’s not going to take you by surprise when your spouse slowly turns into someone you don’t really know after the honeymoon period…
Even in our marriage we make sure we stay each other’s best friends and every night when we put the children in bed we have some together-time and discuss the day’s events and stay connected this way.

[Mr Gold]

I know that some of my mates don’t find it very masculine and think my girlfriend’s got me under the thumb, but I always make sure that I participate in housework. My girlfriend is always so appreciative and thinks I’m the best. 🙂 Some vacuuming or taking the rubbish out is not the end of the world but makes all the difference when it comes to keeping her happy. As we all know: happy wife, happy life. 🙂

[SOUL CITY]

I find being able to forgive a very important quality in a relationship. It’s not very clever to harbor bad feelings and resentment towards your partner as it’s bad for your relationship and also for your health. I always make sure that when I go to bed, I do so with no resentment towards my spouse and others. I find that a regular meditation practice is really very helpful in this.

[Silver Foxx]

Respecting your partner is always a good idea but I find that if you genuinely respect and appreciate your spouse whatever they do (even when they’re driving you mad at the moment), it will enhance your connection in a big way. It defo needs some practice though to always be able to see the bigger picture and not stick in that bad moment, so you could always see the person you fell in love with, but it will sure pay off in the long run.

[nanz]

I think that being happy in your own skin has an amazing effect on a relationship. Firstly, because you don’t need or expect the other person to make you happy which takes the pressure off your partner, so they could feel more free in the relationship; and secondly people are generally more attracted to a person who looks happy and feels nice to be around, so your partner will stay attracted to you throughout your relationship. I don’t say that this does not require effort, but it’s definitely worth it.

[JuMo]

Previously I was very negative with my former partners thanks to my upbringing but then I read an article that has changed my life. It was talking about the different ways you can make sure you live a happy life with your partner. So I decided to try out the tip that I knew I was struggling with (growing up with pessimistic parents who managed to find the bad in everything) and I made a commitment that in my new relationship I will always try to focus on the good things and try to overlook if he does something I’m not all that happy with. I’m telling you, this is magic! We’re together for 18 years now and I always find a way to concentrate on what’s good rather than what’s bad.

[Fire starter]

The wife and I both think that a healthy sex life is crucial in a relationship, so we decided to make an effort to have sex at least once a week, even if it’s difficult due to our schedules and our 3 small kids. My wife is amazing: she takes care of herself by going to the gym, eating healthy foods and wearing sexy clothes, she always makes an effort to keep things interesting and keep me stimulated and I’m very happy to come home to her every night to see what she’s up to. Her newest surprise was the Seksme box which she got me for my birthday and I’m well pleased with the present……

[Author]

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