[carolz]

My husband and I are trying to set aside some time every week to work through difficulties before they ruin our relationship. We both agree that our kids should not notice if we disagree on something or we’re just mad about the other momentarily. We usually sit down to check in and discuss things every Thursday when the kids are already in bed. When you’re exhausted, it can be very easy to just complain about your partner: what he/she is doing or not doing. This has an effect on your children of course and they will feel that something’s not right. But saying something like ‘We can talk about it on Thursday’ can actually help 2 ways: things that might have been inflammatory in the moment may just fade by the time you have your designated check-in, and then you will also both be more open to seeking resolutions rather than just spewing grievances.

[carolz]

My husband and I were best friends way before we decided to get married and start a family. We both believe that this is key for being able to stay together in the long run. When you know each other on a deep level, know who the other one is, you’re more likely to be able to stay together as you know what to expect from them, how you behave in different situations and it’s not going to take you by surprise when your spouse slowly turns into someone you don’t really know after the honeymoon period…
Even in our marriage we make sure we stay each other’s best friends and every night when we put the children in bed we have some together-time and discuss the day’s events and stay connected this way.

[Author]

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